Hurricane Sandy: The Bitch Makes Landfall

It's raining.

Unless you’ve been in a cave, or currently live in burkina faso, you’ve probably heard about the frankenstorm currently blowing her way across the east coast. I’m one of the few NOT off work today, but for my fellow hurricaners, here’s a list of five things to do when you’re stuck inside.

1. Getcho drank on. So, work’s cancelled, there are abundant road closures, and likely no cable to distract you from the mind-numbing drip of your leaking ceiling. What should you do to entertain yourself? Drink, of course. Wine makes board games, network TV, and awkward roommates instantly hilarious. Pop the cork and proceed to get crunk. Cheers to The Sandy Fachina.

2. Reheat any and all leftovers. There’s a chance your power will go out. Or perhaps it’s already made a not-so-graceful exit? Pull a Giada and create “easy ten minute meals” using whatever you can scavenge. Gorge yourself now while the fridge still works. Two-day-old lo mein tastes better with a side of peanut butter pickle sandwich anyway.

3. Obsessively track the storm at weather.com. Or, for unprecedented levels of storm excitement, check out Tom Skilling’s FB page. He's adorkably enthusiastic. Monitor national and local closure coverage and determine with meteorologist-level accuracy whether you’ll get to sleep in again tomorrow. Or, mentally prepare yourself to stumble into the office hungover and headachey from greasy food and boozey booze.

4. Do a victory dance when work is canceled. AGAIN! Break out into a one-man Zumba salsa party in your living room. Burn a calorie or two.

5. Make a hurricane baby. Or at least practice making a hurricane baby. Liquor up, pop that birth control, and have fun making whoopee.