It's GO Time!

Today is the last day of my first job. So, it’s the end of an era, really.

I feel like there should be some sort of graduation ceremony with speeches, buckets of bubbly, and a wild party to cap off my accomplishments and carry me through to the next phase of my professional life.

Everything comes to an end (duh). And I tend to like the idea of endings because they are expected and inevitable. But change is scary. It seems like everything I know about my life right now is falling apart like some doomed relationship in an Adele ballad, and I’m just moronically forging ahead hoping to find something different, better, best.

I am quick to fall into a stable routine and I’ve never been the type to disrupt the status quo. But I've gone and done it.

As huge as this feels, I have to keep reminding myself that leaving your first job is expected and normal and frankly pretty mundane in the grand scheme of things. I’m happy, and healthy, and employed. I have wonderful friends, and great coworkers, and family members who support me no matter what.

This transition is a bit daunting now because I’m right in the thick of it all, but as things mellow out, I know I’ll be happy with my decision. Life is pretty simple, after all. Just do what you love.

Utter Indecisiveness

Decisions, decisions, decisions...

Do I want to live in a fun neighborhood full of bars and restaurants and people up all night OR do I want to live somewhere mellow and quiet and relaxing?

Do I want to live by myself and find a place close to work OR do I want to suffer through a traffic-jammed commute every morning in order to live with my best friend?

Do I want the additional safety and security of a building with amenities (doorman, video surveillance, etc) OR do I want to pay less and trust my instincts?

I'm so indecisive about everything. I feel like I should have at least a sense of what I want, but I don't. My mom reminds me how I hate driving and therefore probably want to minimize my morning commute by living close to the main road I take to work. This makes sense. But, just when that starts to sound like the way to go, my friend A starts telling me about the amazing social scene on the other side of town. Then that starts to make sense. After all, how bad can the drive home be if I come back every evening to unbeatable happy hour specials? I don't want to live alone because I hate coming home to an empty apartment, but I don't want to live somewhere I can't afford simply because that's what my friend wants. Then it's like, sure I have a fabulous luxury apartment, but I can't afford to eat. ever.

I feel like I just need someone to shake me and say "KAT WHAT DO YOU WANT?" Sometimes I can't even remember anymore...

When it comes to figuring out the future, things get tricky. Friendships can start to feel like business relationships, and the guy who works for the moving company starts to feel like your best friend. You begin to detest the family members you love, and the ones who normally drive you crazy start to feel like the only people you can talk to.

I guess, like anything else, transitions are a flip flop time. Does everyone feel like this?