Two years out of college and 24 months of real world living have done little to change my core way of being. I thought without a rigid academic curriculum, I’d have the freedom to do so much more but it turns out that we just shift away from the ivy-laced walls of campus to the red-brick walls of work.
Routines feel stale but I still suffer from an intense fear of missing out. The thought of leaving DC for even a weekend feels both refreshing and irritating. I want to escape life here but as soon as I’m away, it seems like everything great happens. I'm always looking ahead, away, over there.
I’m terrible at living in the present.
Either I’m combing through old pictures on facebook conjuring up that buzzed pre-party excitement, or I’m thinking about my next weekend, my next day off, my next trip. Even when I’m having fun, surrounded by friends, I’m looking around for the better option.
Where’s the “more fun”? What’s better than this?
Amen.
ReplyDeleteIt's the human condition. This is why people try, and often fail, to meditate. Seeking the now.
ReplyDelete*breaks into Carly Simon's Anticipation*
That's natural! As a human being it's normal to feel that way, the confusion and the excitement but you can't site where to begin and to look forward for the better. I understand how you feel and I do hope that you will find the things that will make you happy.
ReplyDelete