I've Applied to ALL the Jobs

I'm interested in PR, marketing, journalism, event planning, and health & fitness - I like to tell people. As a general rule, I am not interested in the broader fields of finance, mathematics, politics, or plumbing. However, this job market has led me to apply to every. single. job. on the Chicago Career Connection website. Ok, maybe that's a bit of an exaggeration. Clearly I haven't applied to the thousands of possible jobs on CAPS, but there is a page dedicated to the alumni network and its sole purpose is to connect recent, unemployed alums, with older, more established alums to improve their odds of finding employment.

This is a nice idea - really, it is.

But. The University of Chicago is a serious academic institution famous for its econ department, scientific research, and legendary Nobel Prize winners. More recently, it has become known as "Obama's 'hood". Uchicago is NOT generally recognized for its "fluff" majors (Communications, PR, and Journalism do not exist), its parties (how can I plan events where "fun goes to die"?), or its students' social skills (how can I ask someone for a job if he speaks the language of Star Trek?).

This poses a problem because it means my interests lie far outside the realm of the CAPS alumni network. As a result, I stopped being picky and decide to just apply to every single job on the page.

I applied to paralegal positions. I applied to consulting firms. I applied to investment banks and marketing research labs. I applied to Psych labs and hospital volunteer jobs. I applied to summer camps. I applied to Chicago's City Hall. I even applied to work in "drainage maintenance" (which is a euphemism for plumber) before I realized that it is actually an incredibly demanding job requiring specific skills, none of which I have.

Anyway, I felt pretty good about my applications. My cover letter is individualized for each company expressing my burning desire to work for them. My resume has been edited and re-edited, and I actually have multiple resumes with all my info organized differently depending on the industry in which I'm looking for employment. My email greeting has been polished and perfected to reflect the ideal balance of brains and cheer. And yet... I received only rejections. Or worse. No reply.

So, I tried to keep a positive attitude and returned to the CAPS site a few days ago planning to look over the alumni connection page again and pick out a few more jobs to apply to. And that was when it hit me.

As I scrolled my way up and down the page, I realized: I've applied to every single one of these jobs. Literally. There is not a single position on this page that I haven't already sent in my resume for.

So I guess I'll have to cross my fingers and hope someone gets back to me in the next few weeks. Or, it looks like I actually might have to use mommy and daddy's connections after all. *sigh*