Crazy Girls

When I think back to the guys I dated over the years, I know a number of them would probably call me a crazy bitch. I should probably be insulted by this, but ultimately, it just doesn’t bother me. Because it’s true.

It’s not uncommon for a girl to go psycho on the guy she’s dating or fucking or whatever-ing. I just think that when a girl acts crazy, it’s because the guy is making her crazy. He gives her reasons to doubt the relationship. He gives her reasons to feel insecure and unloved. He gives her reasons to come undone. 

Girls, and guys too for that matter, tend not to act insane for no reason whatsoever. I suppose there is the rare person who flips out over literally nothing, but I think that is far more rare than we’ve been led to believe. Rather, as human beings, it's in our best interest to maintain the status quo.

Rocking the boat is usually more effort than it’s worth.

When you have something good, you just want to hold on to it. You don’t want to be suspicious or doubtful or angry. You trust.

Maybe I’ve just never had the chance to trust before. Maybe I’ve never given anyone a reason to trust me. I guess what I’m saying is, it’s pretty fucking sweet when you find it. 

I Wish I Were a Crazyyyyy Girl

Am I TOO normal?

I've always kind of pictured myself as the girl-next-door type. Someone laid back and easy going who's cute enough to show off to your friends and sweet enough to bring home to your mom, but lately I've been feeling like maybe that's a bad thing.

Watching some of the girls around me, I'm amazed by what some of them get away with - and how guys don't even bat an eye at their appalling behavior.

I've watched girls go ape-shit crazy on their bf's over the stupidest things ("you emailed your ex-gf something totally harmless and non-romantic?????!! We're DONE!!") and the guy quickly apologizes and backs down and pledges his undying love for crazy betch.

Or, when some girls feel sick and demand to be taken care of and pampered and brought soup and comfort food, and guilt their boyfriends into taking a sick day too so they can properly take care of them. And guys seem to eat this up. They want to swoop in and save the day.  They want to feel needed and appreciated. I guess in the modern world of dating, bringing tea to a vomming girlfriend is one way to achieve that?

Sometimes (and here's the cliched situation that we all know too well) girls take hours to get ready for a night out. They agonize over the perfect outfit, trying on option after option. They shower and blow out their hair and do a full face of make-up and nails and toes and self-tanner and perfect their appearance from head to toe. And their boyfriends patiently wait because if it takes the girl two hours to look hot - it's worth the wait? I WOULD NEVER DO THAT. You'd think guys would want a low maintenance girl but it seems like they prefer someone they have to work to maintain.

Guys put up with SO MUCH BS from girls on a regular basis and it shocks me. Why do males endure the crazies? Do they stick it out because they're in love? Or because it's easier to stay with someone and all their issues than it is to turn around and start over with someone new? Do hormones and brain chemistry keep them tied to these girls?

All I can say is...watching the relationships around me, it makes me want to be a controlling, psychotic, over-emotional, high maintenance girl just so I can get some god damn attention.

I've Never Been So Tired In My Whole Life

Wow. The real world is exhausting.

I don't know why this comes as such a shock to me but it's literally an inexplicable feeling when you come home at the end of a 9-5 workday. Until this week I thought I knew what it meant to be tired but now I know the true meaning behind the word (and let's be honest, I'm still being quite the little drama queen. There are people who would laugh in my face right now if they heard me complaining).

When I compare my lifestyle to that of my friends doing "the finance thing" in New York I don't understand how they are still functioning human beings. Their days begin at 6 am and don't come to a close until their heads hit the pillow well after midnight. Although their jobs include long lunch breaks and idle time spent trying to look busy, they are still stuck inside an over-air-conditioned, artificially-lit office building for 15 hours straight. Yuck.

I'm very grateful because I have a fabulous job doing EXACTLY what I want to be doing but it doesn't make it any less draining. Right now I'm working at a wellness company just outside DC. It's a fairly small company but they are swamped with new clients so I really had to hit the ground running. I've only had 3 full days of work, but I'm proud to say I survived them all! It's funny... I was thinking about how I started this blog because I had nothing to do all day and writing was a way to keep me occupied. I blogged because I had nothing better to do. Now, I actually AM employed and I barely had even a second to spare to write this post. I'm wondering if I should rename the blog "I'm NOT blogging because I AM employed"

More to come later... hopefully the weekend will allow for some downtime!